What is the difference between underwear and lingerie? What does lingerie mean to you? This post is an exploration of lingerie ideals, between two bloggers who have a common love for stockings in totally different ways. I question myself about lingerie many times as the whole concept of lingerie can be confusing. I can differentiate between underwear and lingerie in several ways and yet my own thoughts about it may still be somewhat different to others. The great thing about this? Is that we are all different and we should be allowed to grow and develop our ideals in our own way that provides us the most comfort for our well being.
For me, I consider underwear as the everyday, comfort items that I like to wear. This includes basic items made from cotton or combination of material including cotton which are great for loungewear and for that time of the month. I also go to more sporty styles as well. I am no longer the athlete I used to be but I still enjoy wearing active wear even for an everyday purpose as I like the feel and comfort and breathability it can provide. I also have days when I feel like wearing lace and mesh. As for the style, my everyday items range from classic briefs, shorty briefs, thongs and underwire soft cup bras and sports bras. I have seen some designers come up with new variations of the sports bra which combine femininity and fashion in exciting ways and I am really happy about this and hope one day I will be able to offer them on my website. To sum up, underwear for me means comfort. What?
That does not mean lingerie is not comfortable as I can wear lingerie as outerwear fashion and I can wear lingerie during the day to feel a little more special and I can even wear sports bras as outerwear fashion. See how my own ideals can seem to confuse? You see, lingerie still needs to be comfortable otherwise we cannot wear it, but the comfort level I speak about is not the physical comfort but the sensual comfort that comes with lingerie which also has a place and time for this kind of adventure.
Lingerie to me is something I would consider that would give me the time to feel special and sensual and to feel completely within myself for my own amusement and sometimes for my pleasure. Yes, that’s right. I do not wear lingerie for someone else and I do not wait for someone else to tell me what to wear. I wear it for me and if another person is lucky enough to see it and likes what they see then that is a plus. My ‘lingerie’ may include items made from lace, satin, mesh, fishnet and silk to name a few. My go to items may include sets with suspenders, peekaboo holes, body stockings, hold ups, regular stockings, corsets and even just a pair of silk French knickers will do. Sometimes, I just don’t want to wear anything! But it really does not matter what the items are, it is the feeling I want to achieve when I am wearing them. I get a kick out of wearing stockings and suspenders on their own. To me, it is that naughty feeling of being part undressed. That is a personal preference and we all have them according to our liking. Some individuals may prefer teddies, babydolls and latex and that’s great too. I believe everyone needs to be able to explore their desires in a safe, consensual manner without the fear of being shamed or judged.
This desired feeling lead me to seek a community that can understand my thoughts and where I can have the ability to express my thoughts without the fear of being judged. I found this within the sex blogging community and as some of you may know I sponsored blogger this year to attend an event on my behalf as I could not make it myself. Amber is a sex educator and blogger who is very passionate about sex education and the ability to open to up to new ideas by sharing her personal experiences. This sharing of information may not be suited to everyone and that is O.K. We all have our beliefs, our limits and our comfort zones. In all honesty, I have really bonded with Amber and her way of thinking and her courage to be so open about her sex life. In a way I do not think of her as just another blogger but as someone I could have a girly night in with some laughs and girl talk. (Please note that other genders can also be included in the girly night in concept). We also share many similarities and one of them is that we both have a love for stockings. My love of stockings only goes as far as wearing them, but Amber really takes her love of stockings to the next level. If you are prudent please be warned now and do not read further. The next piece is written by Amber, for her love and exploration of stockings:
Lingerie gets this reputation for being the wrapping paper of your sex life. Many a person has echoed the phrase, “What’s the point in buying something that will come right off?” I find lingerie totally empowering and challenged readers to have their own unique item and make it their lingerie something that makes you feel sexy even if it is not the typical bra and panty set. For this piece I wanted desperately to put an unconventional twist on lingerie. I took time to ponder and get a little introspective on what I am doing with my lingerie, but I think I have come up with a good read.
I have a dynamic relationship with lingerie; I like to have each piece give me some kind of power that compelled me to kick up my sex life. Like most I use my lingerie to fulfil a fantasy or bring about a different mind-set than my daily life. Lingerie is like a drug, “a mind altering substance”, and now it’s more than just being a character or playing a game. I have written some sultry tips and ways to utilize those stockings in the bottom of your lingerie drawer. I have chosen one of my most basic and favourite item of Millie Wonders, stockings.
I have come up with many ways to take something as simple as stockings and take them to the next level. I think stocking adds a great touch and completes your outfit. Though delicate, stockings carry an elegance and power that I tap into when wearing them. Even a simple opaque pair of black stockings has its’ own fantasy to fulfil. There is this common implication that playing and exploring must be pretty, and by default so should our play things. This is not the case, exploration is about sensation, consent, and comfort. Do not let the aesthetics get you down. The implication that something must be pretty to be desirable is just marketing at its finest. Do not let capitalist marketing into your bedroom.
Stockings or tights, however you may call them are these delicate starters that carry more power than submission. Keeping your stockings on can be a total game changer, the slight increase in body temperature from wearing socks or stockings increases your chance of orgasm. Meaning your lingerie may have more power on than off. If you decide the stockings are better on the floor than sliding down your leg, take your stockings to the next level before banishing them from your foreplay. Stockings may be delicate but I find they are stronger off than on. Sit your partner down and have them slide your stockings down with just their teeth. While they are looking up at you for their reward of a job well done take your stockings and throw them over their neck. This is a power move you can take in a few different directions. Slide down their body and rediscover the dry hump and grind of your youth. Using the stockings to pull them in tight, putting the power in your hands, literally. Inhaling each other’s desire while still keeping a playful tease in action.
Next, you could “take the lead”, so to say. Maybe this stems from my roots working on a horse farm, but those stocking make a sexy lead for your partner. Just as you see in the films, where someone is lead into the next room or pulled into a dark corner by their tie. Get creative, tie your partners wrists or neck and gently pull them to the new location. Kitchen, couch, dinning room table, bathroom sink, your possibilities are endless. After you have lead your partner to your new location or even just the bed, keep those stockings in play. Tie your partner up to bed posts, tie their hands together, or my personal favorite tie your partner around you. Sounds super awkward, but if you have your partner laying beneath you, while you straddle them you can playfully place their hands around you and tie them up.
If you find yourself taking a tamer or more sensual route take the time to blindfold your partner and give them a sexy massage, putting your hand in your stocking to add texture and sensation. There are endless directions you may go with stockings, proving them to be worthy of your praise. Next time you are shopping for lingerie come up with some possibilities for each piece. Both in wear and in action. As I mentioned in my previous article, find your piece of lingerie and let it empower you. Take the simplicity of your desires and blow them up until you are your own daily fantasy. Having a dynamic relationship with lingerie can prove to be sexier than you may have originally thought. Best of all, stockings are beyond affordable meaning purchasing a pair can be your first step into a broader pleasure horizon.
A big thank you to Amber and for sharing her experiences. Amber can be found on Instagram. If you enjoyed reading ‘What is the difference between underwear and lingerie?’ and ‘What does lingerie mean to you?’, An exploration of lingerie ideals, between two bloggers who have a common love for stockings in totally different ways, please feel free to subscribe to our newsletter and be the first to hear about our blogs, features and special offers.
